What makes for a successful life strategy? Is it unleashing
the power of your passion to make a “dent” in the universe? Or is it to be an
opportunist who goes with the flow of what exists around you? Is it a
combination of the two?
I used to think that I had to prove myself to the world. It
drove me. It gave me comfort. My competitive nature had a blanket to keep me
warm and cozy when things didn’t go as I had expected. I was a force of nature.
But much to my surprise and frustration I discovered that
not every situation was the same and my singular focus could be a liability. My
relentless pursuit of whatever goal was on the table worked against me as many
times as it helped me.
Now that I am older I have discovered that being more aware
that each relationship has its own dynamic is more important than brute force
or the quest for control and dominance. I have learned that it is impossible to
force people to do what you want…all
of the time. After many successes and failures it is apparent that identifying
if an opportunity will best fit your particular skills and personality is the best
attribute one can have. It is then possible to maximize the encounter without
letting your ego sabotage the outcome.
My satisfaction and reward now comes from doing my best
without expectation of a specific outcome. This has proved to much more effective than overwhelming
the situation to fill my need to make that dent in the universe.
Focusing on helping others expanding their awareness is
every bit as powerful as “I did this” Look at me!”
This power seems to come from the strength of the
connection. Creating a state of “flow” when interacting allows the energy to
grow organically rather than imposing your opinion and will to control.
Often times using this approach will create an environment
in which each participant feels comfortable enough to contribute what is unique
to them.. It is obvious to me now that an inclusive environment leads to a
better outcome. In large part this is because the sum is greater than the
individual parts. As my friend Carlos Vega once said: “you may be cool but
you’re still only one guy”.
Forcing your will onto others is about your ego…and your
insecurity. Having the courage and strength to operate without your ego in the
lead sets the stage for others to contribute. Then, you have the opportunity to
lead with love and thus get the best out of those you are working with.
Surprisingly this is much easier path to making the impact
you desire.
