Chris Boardman Music Blog: Entitlement vs. Gratitude

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Entitlement vs. Gratitude


For most of us, our expectations about what life will bring us are formed in childhood. If you show up in youth sports, you get a trophy. If you pick the correct multiple-choice questions, you will get a good grade. If you behave in a particular way, you will get the desired result. Well-meaning adults unconsciously fill children with these thoughts throughout their lives. 

To paraphrase TV psychologist Dr. Phil: “how’s that working for you?”

The truth is no one is guaranteed anything in life. Just because you “desire something” doesn’t mean you are “entitled” to have it regardless of the how often this idea is reinforced.

Does this prepare you for the inevitable rejection you will encounter in life?

Holding on to conditioned responses will be like having an invisible anchor around your neck. Your view will be skewed unknowingly affecting your performance. 

We can only put forth the best work we can do at the time. We cannot control the outcome. So why do we let our expectations get in the way?

"Give without expectation - be grateful for the result"- Quincy Jones

You’ve done your best. The outcome is out of your hands.  You have little choice but to accept the result or become defensive, bitter or worse which will have negative consequences.

If you fail to receive the reward you feel “entitled” to it is time to go back to the mirror and ask yourself: "was there anything else I could have done?  How can I improve my  performance?

Focus on creating joy - not wealth.

Joy will come from the act of doing, the value you create- not in what you will receive in return.

Joy is contagious. Joy is attractive. It is easy to say yes to joy. 


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