Dent in the Universe?

 What makes for a successful life strategy? Is it unleashing the power of your passion to make a “dent” in the universe? Or is it to be an opportunist who goes with the flow of what exists around you? Is it a combination of the two?

I used to think that I had to prove myself to the world. It drove me. It gave me comfort. My competitive nature had a blanket to keep me warm and cozy when things didn’t go as I had expected. I was a force of nature.

But much to my surprise and frustration I discovered that not every situation was the same and my singular focus could be a liability. My relentless pursuit of whatever goal was on the table worked against me as many times as it helped me.

Now that I am older I have discovered that being more aware that each relationship has its own dynamic is more important than brute force or the quest for control and dominance. I have learned that it is impossible to force people to do what you want…all of the time. After many successes and failures it is apparent that identifying if an opportunity will best fit your particular skills and personality is the best attribute one can have. It is then possible to maximize the encounter without letting your ego sabotage the outcome.

My satisfaction and reward now comes from doing my best without expectation of a specific outcome.  This has proved to much more effective than overwhelming the situation to fill my need to make that dent in the universe.

Focusing on helping others expanding their awareness is every bit as powerful as “I did this” Look at me!”

This power seems to come from the strength of the connection. Creating a state of “flow” when interacting allows the energy to grow organically rather than imposing your opinion and will to control.

Often times using this approach will create an environment in which each participant feels comfortable enough to contribute what is unique to them.. It is obvious to me now that an inclusive environment leads to a better outcome. In large part this is because the sum is greater than the individual parts. As my friend Carlos Vega once said: “you may be cool but you’re still only one guy”.

Forcing your will onto others is about your ego…and your insecurity. Having the courage and strength to operate without your ego in the lead sets the stage for others to contribute. Then, you have the opportunity to lead with love and thus get the best out of those you are working with.

Surprisingly this is much easier path to making the impact you desire.

Do you have an exit strategy?

What to do when things don’t work out.

Safe to say that we spend a lot of energy trying to get ahead, trying to figure out how to get that next gig, create and take advantage of that one opportunity that is going to airlift us to our vision of nirvana.

Let’s assume you got the call for the gig of a lifetime! You’re elated. Your client loves your work and you’re ecstatic. After all of your struggles you breathe a sigh of relief thinking that you are on your way.

Then there is a problem. Something has happened to upset the apple cart and it’s not working.  Have you spent the same amount of time figuring out an exit strategy as you have trying to get the gig?

Knowing how to successfully end a gig that isn’t working is every bit as important, if not more so, than learning how to get the gig.

A couple of things to think about:

If you are feeling uncomfortable and think the end is near chances are your client is way ahead of you., that you are both feeling the same way.

Once you hit that threshold it is important to remember that you have a choice:

You can continue to try to solve the problem. Or, you can acknowledge the problem and accept the fact that you may never be able to satisfy your client.

What do you do then?

A career is not created in one job or opportunity. A career is fashioned as a result of many opportunities over a period of time. So what’s really at stake?

Let’s say you burn bridges by reacting defensively to criticism or a change of direction. Your client will probably walk away with a sour taste in their mouth.

Let’s think about that for a second.

If you go negative then the potential exists for your client to consciously or unconsciously transfer that feeling to someone who may be in a position of hiring you someday in the future. In this case you might get considered for a gig and then lose it without your even knowing that this conversation took place.

Pretty high stakes when you look at it from the perspective of career vs. gig.

Now that you’ve accepted the fact that the end is in sight what’s next?

Your feelings and expectations are no one’s responsibility but your own. Not your client, your significant other or your friends and family.

Take the high road. Admit that the situation isn’t working and be courageous enough to bring the question up (there are many, many ways of doing this).

Many times we are in relationships that aren’t working and our fear prevents us from acknowledging the problem.

When this happens professionally it’s time to take the high road and be the adult by addressing the issue head on. The fact is: no matter how hard you try to deny it, the problem will still be in the room.

How to do THAT?

If it comes time to bail out then deal with your emotions first before you address the issue with your client. This type of conversation has to take place from a neutral, unemotional place. If you process your emotions first you can let the sting and disappointment pass right through you. This will enable you to be emotionally detached (by removing your ego) during a difficult conversation.

This is hugely important.

If you are emotionally detached then you can focus your energy on being empathetic, even sympathetic, to the emotions of your client thus, solving their problem while solving your own at the same time.

And what is the benefit of this?

If you are gracious and classy about ending a relationship you don’t have to worry about the inadvertent, damning glance or being slammed by your client to anyone else in the future.

At the end of the day the media business is very, very small. 

And, even if you are right is the need to be right worth more than setting yourself up for a career.

What have you lost in the end?

We are all humans. We all make mistakes. We all have problems we struggle to deal with.  A little compassion, empathy and understanding goes a long, long way.

What do you REALLY have to offer?

One of the basic tenets of starting a business is determining your USP (unique selling proposition). What makes you different? Why should a customer/client choose you rather than the competition? What value do you offer?

Most artists’ think: “why do I have to worry about this? Doesn’t everyone know how great I am? Can’t they just tell? “I don’t want to worry or even think about marketing/selling myself. I’d rather just do what I do.” And on and on.

It seems as though we’ve been conditioned to think that self-promotion is something that an artist can’t/shouldn’t do. We have been lead to believe we are a pawn in someone else’s game.

Why?

All of the industry’s middlemen (those who profit from and who’s jobs are dependent on the artist) need to justify their existence. And, while it is fair to say that many of the people in these roles (managers, labels, public relations, marketing etc.) are effective and earn their living: why do artists feel the need and pressure to give away control of their careers…and life?

I believe that self-promotion or selling of one’s self is a fact of life and need not be abhorrent or make you feel uncomfortable. All that is required is a shift in your point of view. If you think about it: aren’t you just telling a story? And, wouldn’t you like to ensure that your story is told accurately?

Branding is often a misused word. The goal of branding is to manage expectations and create a connection between the user and the brand. My view is that it is the power of the story you are telling that is the connective tissue between you and your clients/customers/fans.

(For a more about learning how to tell your story consistently: click here)

If your goal is to earn a living being a creative then you first have to own the fact that you are indeed a service provider. Your ability to create is your service (your unique selling proposition). If you don’t believe it then why should anyone else? If you stumble when talking about yourself perhaps your service, role, value is not well defined?

If your first reaction is discount the above then it is entirely possible that you will advance no further than you currently are. Ultimately it is all up to you. No one else is responsible.

The cold hard truth is: most people don’t care.

Think of it like dancing. 

The reason people don't dance is because they think that everyone will be watching them when in fact: everyone is preoccupied with themselves! If you want to get ahead in your career and life get over it. Get out on the dance floor. Like anything else: the more you practice the better you will become.

Take the time to learn how to tell your story effectively and the world will begin to react to you differently…because you will judged/valued by what you present rather than hoping/expecting others to “magically” discover how cool you really are.

As one of the most successful brands in history says: "Just Do It".

Googled your name lately?

Do you pay attention to your online presence? And, why would that be important?

Some of us assume that everything being said about us online is funny, true or complimentary. Some of us are worried about what others think and what is being said online. Still others post online without thinking about the potential consequences. Regardless of your opinion it is important to remember that everything you post online is data that is used to identify your likes, dislikes, attributes and weaknesses. And, with big data now a daily part of your life that silly selfie you took in a compromising situation may come back to haunt you…without you even knowing it.

Today your online presence shapes public perception about you. And, like or not, we are all public personalities. There is no way to avoid this (unless you become a hermit). However, there are a few simple things you can do:

·          •     Accept that you have public presence

·          •     Freedom of expression comes with responsibility

·          •     You can’t control what people say about you

·          •     Posting online is serious business and can have negative consequences.

Everyone is now a brand.

In the past, conventional wisdom said that “branding” was the exclusive domain of advertisers and corporations because what we saw and heard was controlled by a select few. Today over 2 Billion people a day create “content” on social media. Rather than passively receiving branded messages roles have been changed: we are now the brand. We are now responsible for our online persona. We are now judged based on our online messaging.

Have you ever stopped to consider why you post what you do and what the long-term impact may be?

Taking the time to understand who you are and what you want to do will enable you to create a messaging strategy based on you…not what others say about you. It’s not as hard as it sounds. It only takes a few minutes to understand the basics (more).

This is crucial for musicians. Without having an identifiable online presence you may confuse your audience or, worse yet, drive fans away.

Humans use stories to communicate with one another. Don’t you think it about time you thought about the story you are telling?

The Curse of Indecision

Do you struggle with making a decisions? Do you drift off into “what if...?” Do you worry about being wrong? About being perfect?

Seems to me that it is all too easy to base decisions on our perception of reality. This makes our decisions susceptible to a variety of influences that can distort the decision making process. When we are faced with making a choice under these circumstances our biases and beliefs can distort the quality of the decisions we make...sometimes with disastrous results...sometimes with more pleasant outcomes. Some times your choices may be well thought out and have no effect on the outcome at all! Choices work or they don’t. Moving forward is about not stopping...not letting fear prevent progress.

When you approach a fork in the road you are forced to make a decision. Right or left. stop or go back. Obviously your choice will send you down a path, each with a different potential outcome.

But how can you decide which road to take?

Clarity of purpose

The best we can do in this situation is to remind ourselves of the purpose we wish to achieve and make our choices accordingly. Without knowing where you want to go and having the commitment to stay the course, chances of success become exactly that: chance. Or in other words: your probability of success becomes random at best. Not good odds at all.

However, once you have made the decision to go in a specific direction, then, and only then can you figure out how to get there and have any chance at success.

Take an architect for example:

An architect is trained to take ideas (for buildings) and make them real. They aren’t in the business of fantasy or “what if”. They apply their craft to execute their ideas using the tools and skills in their personal arsenal.

I’m sure you’re wondering what this has to do with making music? Well, the short answer is: EVERYTHING. 

Writing music is a constant decision making process. The choices are endless. 

So, where to begin? 

You won’t get anywhere if you don’t start walking. 

Commit to your purpose and get going. Move past the fork in the road and see where you end up. Soon enough you’ll find out if you have made a good choice or not. Don’t be afraid of falling off the horse or being ridiculed. Just get back on the horse...and carry on. Just like mastering an instrument or skill, the more you practice the better you’ll become.

Music is art...not open heart surgery. Remember, no one will die if you use one reverb over another. This instrument or that. There is no right answer...it is entirely subjective. And, you can’t control whether or not anyone else will like your work so why worry? 

Being comfortable with the decision making process is the path to releasing your artistic voice. 

This is about your journey and no one else’s. Work with purpose. Be conscious of your choices. Be willing to make mistakes. If you can’t make it past the fork in the road...you’ll never know what you are capable of nor will anyone else.

Monday Musings: 5 steps to increase your effectiveness

When I was in my twenties I discovered that I had some bad habits that were preventing me from getting the most out of my life and career. I was getting in my own way. I was unconsciously sabotaging myself.

Through much effort and plenty of angst I learned that if I paid attention to a few basic truths I could combat my conditioned behavior and not be enslaved by habits that were less than productive. Take this for what its worth. I hope it is helpful.

1. Accountability

Your behavior is never someone else’s fault. Regardless of the situation you are accountable for your actions.

2- Control.

Knowing what you can and can’t control will help you clarify your role in your process. See the big picture. Know the limits of your responsibility.

3- Personal growth

We are all participants in our own journey…the hero of our story. If you can see the pot of gold you desire the path is clear to you. However, most likely it is YOU that is holding you back.  Work on yourself.

4- Observation.

Motivation seemingly comes from many sources but can always be traced back to acting out of love or fear. Awareness of yourself and your feeling while you are in the process will illuminate the true motivation for your actions. Don't be afraid of what you see when you pull back the curtain. The path to empowerment comes from the ability to see which actions are beneficial or detrimental.

5-Be Bold.

The line between foolish behavior and bold action may seem thin to the outsider. However, to the participant bold actions seems like the only choice worth making. The hero makes the only choice they can see...the best choice at the time. 

If you wildly make a choice that results in success chances are it was an accident.

If you make choices and achieve your goal more than once it may be a coincidence.

If you continually progress towards your goal you have discovered a pattern.

If you work to objectively look at your behavior and abilities you will have a better chance at becoming more effective at EVERYTHING you attempt.